I stumbled upon a new cannabis dispensary

I have never been one to believe in things like luck or karma.

  • Life is a series of random events, and the human mind tries to make sense out of it… but there is no sense.

Fate is not real, we make our own fate based on the random outcomes of the choices we make. Anyone else would tell you how they “got lucky” because of a random event, but not me. The other night I went to my regular gas station, and found they were completely out of fuel. I had to go to another gas station, one I had never seen before. Next door to this gas station was a cannabis dispensary, which was also new to me. I wasn’t “lucky” to have found this cannabis dispensary, it was just one of those random events. Equally random was the fact that this cannabis dispensary was offering a big discount for new customers. Anyone who signed up for a new account got 25% off their first purchase, plus five free grams of their cannabis of choice. If my gas station didn’t run out of the gas, I never would have found this amazing cannabis sale – does that make me lucky? If anybody was lucky it was the owner of the cannabis dispensary, because now they have a new client! I smoke a lot of cannabis every week, so it was nice to find a new place to shop around. The old cannabis dispensary I was using rarely gets any new products, so I needed a new place to serve my tastes.

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Bargain shopping for cannabis

At first I was stoked that cannabis was legalized in this state.

There has been a lot of debate over the last few years, but finally the potheads scored a victory for legalization.

I thought things couldn’t possibly get any better, but I was wrong. After two years of legalization, pot has become a very normal part of capitalism. The laws of the open market apply, which means that just like clothes, food, or beer, cannabis is a commodity that you can get for a great bargain if you know how to shop for it. Most cannabis dispensaries don’t have discount coupons, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t some great values and sales happening right under your nose. In my town we have four different cannabis dispensaries. With so much competition in the same local market, these dispensaries have to compete with one another, both in terms of price and customer service. In other words, chances are good that one of the four cannabis dispensaries is having a sale at any given time. Usually a sale on cannabis products isn’t advertised, nor listed on the store website, so you just have to physically go inside and look around. Going to four different cannabis dispensaries in one afternoon is actually not as fun as it sounds, after a while it gets boring! By doing this, I can look for sale bins or discount stickers in each store and determine which cannabis dispensary has the best deal that day. With as much weed as I smoke, this practice saves me hundreds of dollars a year.


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The Platinum Club at the cannabis dispensary

I am a member of the Platinum Club at the local cannabis dispensary, and it has changed the way I think about weed.

Ever since middle school, around grade 8, I have been a frequent weed smoker.

I have engaged in a lot of bad habits, but smoking pot was the one that stuck around. That was twenty years ago, and I don’t party like I used to, but I still smoke weed every day. Now that there is the Platinum Club, I feel like royalty. Basically how it works is like this – when you are a regular customer at the cannabis dispensary you can set up a personal account. Your information, insurance, and payment method are all kept on file, which makes it easier to check out after you select your weed. It is also possible to order cannabis products through the website for either curbside pick-up, or home delivery. These are all perks that every customer of the cannabis dispensary has access to. What makes the Platinum Club special is you get a direct message from the cannabis dispensary every time they have a secret sale, or get a great new product. Platinum Club members get first dibs, and there have been a few instances when a new strain of cannabis is sold out before it ever hits the sales floor! Every time my phone chimes I always look to see if it’s a new announcement from the cannabis dispensary. Time is of the essence, sometimes new cannabis products sell out in just a few days or even hours.


A dream comes true thanks to the cannabis dispensary

Art is only a hobby for me, but I yearn to be a professional one day.

I have a boring job in an office that I hate, but I have to keep.

The office job pays me real money, and gives me health insurance. Art does neither of those things yet, but I keep practicing and working towards my goal. There is a website for freelance artists to look for paid online gigs. I have haunted this website for months, but hadn’t ever contacted anyone through it. I was curious, but unsure I was good enough to handle it. Then I saw a post from the owner of the local cannabis dispensary, and I had to pitch him my ideas. As fate would have it, this was the same cannabis dispensary I visit every week, just a few miles from my home. I worked that personal connection into my pitch, because I would be able to visit him at the cannabis dispensary to show him the sketches and designs. He was looking for someone to design the packaging for his new line of home grown cannabis products. There were several strains of cannabis, but there were also seeds, grow lights, potting soil, and everything else a person would need to grow their own marijuana at home. I had considered trying to grow marijuana plants in the past, so I had a lot of ideas for pictures and designs. When I went into his office I presented a series of sketches for his cannabis packaging, and I really blew him away!



Space cake

My plans for a cannabis film festival

This cannabis dispensary is pretty small.

There are a total of five employees, including the manager who also owns the place.

It’s good that I am not career-driven, because there is no way to “move up the corporate” ladder with so few employees. A few weeks ago I finally got a chance for a promotion. The boss Ed was opening up a new smokers lounge next to our building, and wanted to promote someone to be the manager. All four of us got a chance to interview for the position, and pitch ideas on how to promote it and make it successful. My first thought was a cannabis themed movie festival, where we would screen classic films inside the smokers lounge. There are so many great movies that are heavily influenced by cannabis, and a lot more that are considered favorites in the pot community. I am a member of Generation X and grew up watching the best classic comedies and horror movies. I learned about cannabis through movies and TV long before I ever experienced it in real life. I loved Cheech and Chong movies, even though I had no idea what marijuana was at the time. Over the years the so-called “stoner comedy” has become an institution, and there are many comedies based on finding, buying, and smoking cannabis. To put together a roster of the best cannabis comedies of all time and screen them over a series of weeks might be a great way to get more people into the store. I am sure I will get the job.


Space cake

A flash sale at the cannabis dispensary

How was your weekend? Mine was amazing.

It might have been the best weekend of my entire life.

After work on Friday there was an office party, and I only went so I wouldn’t be rude to my coworkers. There was no liquor at the party, just snacks and soda, and it all seemed pretty dull. I’m glad I went, because there was a raffle, and I won a hundred bucks! After the party I went to the gas station and filled up my tank, then spent the rest of the $100 prize on beer and lottery tickets. One of the scratchers hit for 300 bucks! I took my winners and immediately drove to the cannabis dispensary, and could hardly believe my eyes when I found they were having a flash sale. This means it was not advertised, it was a four-hour long sale on all mid-shelf cannabis strains for BOGO. Every gram of cannabis I bought came with a free gram! I spent the entire three hundred bucks at the cannabis dispensary, and walked away with almost six hundred worth of products. Normally I don’t like to brag, but in this case I will make an exception. I got several grams worth of Blue Dream, Purple Haze, and a new cannabis sativa blend called Silver Shamrock. I also got three packages of different cannabis edibles, gummies in the flavors of lime, passionfruit, and watermelon. The BOGO sale did not extend to cannabis smoking implements, but I still took the opportunity to buy a new water bong, a new glass pipe, and a few packs of rolling papers.


Marijuana oil pen

I prefer smoking weed the old-fashioned way

When I start feeling anxious I get lost in my own thoughts, which makes it almost impossible to fall asleep. Have you ever laid in bed, staring at the ceilling and unable to sleep while you remember every stupid and cringey thing you’ve ever done? That was an every night affair for me. I would just lay there pondering past mistakes, or wishing I had not said something dumb. Being unable to get good rest makes me even more tired and addled, which in turn makes the anxiety get worse. It’s a mental trap, of sorts, and one that I have been able to escape thanks to medical cannabis. In the past I never smoked cannabis very often, because I didn’t like my brain feeling fuzzy. That fuzzy-headed feeling is now precisely what I am seeking, because a few tokes of medical cannabis will settle my ugly thoughts and allow me to drift to sleep peacefully. Before going to bed I like to sit on the couch with a fat bowl of Blue Dream, or sometimes a fruity sativa strain, and watch some stupid TV. I prefer stupid TV shows to smart ones, because they work in concert with the cannabis to slow my thoughts down and allow me to fall asleep. I have sampled a few alternate ways of using cannabis in recent weeks. I tried cannabis gummies, drinks, and using a blow torch to “dab” cannabis wax. I enjoyed them all in different ways, but none of them help me fall asleep like smoking cannabis the old fashioned way.



Senior citizens smoke the best cannabis

Half the time when I get a tip for delivery pizza it comes in the form of a cannabis nugget

Never in a million years did I think that an old folks retirement community would be home to the best weed in the world. I knew that there were legal cannabis dispensaries in the area, but this town is known for being one giant retirement community. Over fifty thousand retirees live here, in a closed-off section of town where it’s legal to ride your golf carts on the street. Because of the high number of senior citizens there is an equally high number of legal cannabis dispensaries. Before I moved here I had no idea that senior citizens smoke so much marijuana, but they do! I see old timers driving down the street in their golf carts smoking marijuana in full view of the public. No one seems to care, because it seems that everyone besides me has a medical cannabis prescription card. For them it is legal to buy, possess, and smoke cannabis almost anywhere, except inside of businesses and public spaces of course. I am not a senior citizen, I just moved here for a job. Medical cannabis is not legal for me, because I don’t have a doctor’s prescription for it. Nonetheless, cannabis is very easy to find. Half the time when I get a tip for delivery pizza it comes in the form of a cannabis nugget. Every time I smoke weed given to me by a senior citizen it is high octane, top-shelf cannabis. No one around here ever buys the cheap stuff, it is always the most amazing cannabis I’ve ever encountered. I can;t wait to get my prescription card!


Marijuana business

Hot Yoga or Pot Yoga?

The owner of the yoga studio asked me to take a job there and become an instructor.

Mike has asked me this three previous times, and I always say no.

He had a different offer this time, which caught my attention. Mike runs a very successful yoga studio on behalf of a consortium of investors. I knew that this company had a “zero tolerance” policy for drug use, and that they screened all employees for banned substances. I never considered taking a job at the yoga studio, because I could never pass a drug test in a million years! I smoke cannabis all day, every day. I smoke cannabis before I go to the yoga studio. I’m smoking a fat bowl of cannabis right now as I am writing this blog! Mike tells me that thanks to the new cannabis laws going into effect, the company wasn’t screening for it anymore. They would still drug test for banned substances, but marijuana was no longer on that list. He advised me that I couldn’t ever smoke cannabis in the studio, or even in the parking lot outside, but that if I came to work high no one would care. I had to laugh, because Mike didn’t know I was high at the time, nor that I was zooted on cannabis every single time I had ever talked to him. I told Mike I would consider his offer, so I am just going to smoke cannabis over the next few days and make my decision. You’ve heard of Hot Yoga, but this will be Pot Yoga.


My ex has taken over the cannabis dispensary

Breaking up with Ken was one of the hardest experiences of my life. He and I had been engaged to be married when I caught him cheating on me. We fought, and then I kicked him out, and after that things got really ugly. I remember the last thing I said to him was “I hope I never see your evil face again.” For five years, I never did see that evil face again! Now everything has changed, and I have an important decision to make. Ken was recently hired as the floor manager for the local cannabis dispensary, which means I have to figure out another way to get my weed. There is no way I am going back to that cannabis dispensary if I have to see Ken. If I lived in a bigger town there would be more options, but right now this is the only cannabis dispensary within 50 miles! I can start making phone calls and tracking down my old dealers from before cannabis was legalized and the dispensary opened. I really don’t want to do that. Isn’t it sad when an older person buys marijuana from a high school kid? I have no desire to revisit that part of my life, but on the other hand I may have no other way of getting the cannabis I need. I know the cannabis dispensary has online ordering, with an option for home delivery, but I don’t want to do that either. What if Ken sees my order and decides to deliver my cannabis in person? I would flip out.

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